I’ve been on holiday for four days now, and in that short space of time it’s been made abundantly clear to me that I am, in fact, weird. How do I know that I’m weird? Because people say stuff like this to me:
“Half a packet of bacon? For breakfast??” Yes. And tomorrow, the other half.
“Gross, how can you eat 70% Lindt??” Um, you put it in your mouth and you chew?
“Doesn’t everything taste like coconut?” No, no it doesn’t.
“What’s a burpee?” Imagine the worst pain you’ve ever felt, multiply it by 100, and still you are nowhere near close to the sheer horror that is the burpee.
“No but seriously, what’s a burpee?” Ok well you start on all fours and then you throw your legs out and then you pull them back in and then…you know what, never mind.
“Why are you using a…
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